I’m going to cry. I’ll try my best not to but I think it’s going to happen eventually. I feel like crying right now.
I’ve had my head on his shoulder since we sat here, before the flight even took off.
It felt so sad when we left the house. I’d only been there since yesterday afternoon but it felt like home already.
I wanted to drive, but he said he wasn’t going to let me drive five hours two days in a row, one of the reasons being that I’m a bad driver who almost killed him last week.
So we took a flight, a private jet.
I didn’t know that private jets were like taxis, that you can just get on one and fly your girlfriend home.
He said my car would be brought to Kimberley by a driver. So I left it still parked at his house.
He’s a bit quiet but his arms are around me. There are random kisses as we sit. I don’t want to go home. He doesn’t want me to go home, that’s why he came with me.
He was right, now that we’ve had sex I feel weaker around him. I’m not that girl that wanted to fight with him all the time this morning. Now I want to curl up next to him and be cuddly and vulnerable……
It started with me against the wall, to the cinema chair and ended on the floor.
There were two more times after that, when we showered and just before we left the house. But the first one, I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about it. You know that sound?…that sound that a man makes when he is really enjoying you? He made that sound. He called my name and he looked into my eyes when he came. He made me look at him too when I came. And then he asked me to trust him and told me he loved me.
“Are you really going to the looney house tomorrow?” he speaks.
I was enjoying the silence, particularly because no-one was being insulted.
“They’re not looneys baby, you can’t call people that,” I say
I know I’m wasting my time.
“Aren’t they dangerous?” he asks.
Why does he want to know?
“Some of them are, like, there’s Justice, he’s a serial killer and……
He pushes me off and looks at my face
“A what??” he asks
“He’s better now, he was mentally ill when he killed those…….
“He’s better? Are you listening to yourself Naledi? And what’s a serial killer doing in hospital? Why isn’t he in jail…….?
Why is he being so dramatic?
Thank God we’ve just landed!
It’s that same Jeep he was driving at the mall. I thought we were going to get a hired car or that I’d ask someone to come pick us up but……here is the Jeep!
We sit at the back, someone is driving. It’s after 9pm and I want to go straight to bed but chances are slim. He’s still giving me a lecture about my job, the one I’m trained for.
“I told you I don’t want you working there,” he says.
“You can’t tell me where I can or cannot work Chawe,”
“Why not?” he asks.
This is where I shut up and do a silent ‘whooooosaaaa’
My house is dark, my worst fear. The last time I walked in it dark I was almost killed.
He goes in first and switches the light on. He didn’t even look worried.
He told the driver to pick us up in the morning so I conclude he’s sleeping over. However, none of that was discussed with me. I thought he was flying back to Joburg tonight.
“How did he come in?” he asks walking around the lounge.
“Through there,” I say pointing at the sliding door to the balcony.
He opens it, goes outside and comes back in.
“So a person can walk in this complex and enter a house without being seen?” he asks. He looks worried.
“This was the first time it happened,” I say
Why am I explaining?
“Yes and it was the last time,” he says.
We go to sleep only after he makes himself food and treats himself to Tsietsi’s beer in the fridge, although he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want him coming here.
After he leaves I’m going to sit down and give myself time to phantom him and his overwhelming behaviour. I need a planning sheet for all the medical and psychological theories I’m going to have to explore to be able to handle him.
“You let them wander around unmonitored just like that???” he asks.
Yes, they’re patients, not aliens from Jupiter!
I’m embarrassed just walking with him because he has that look on his face. I understand, maybe, if not certainly, he has a fear of mentally ill people. I think that’s the case here.
But this is my job and there are people I work with here, although most of them are staring at him and couldn’t care less what he just said.
I walk faster as we climb the stairs to my office.
“Naledi are you okay? Oh my God! I heard what happened….” Chelsea comes rushing to me, until she sees the tall man behind me.
“Hi,” she says with a wide smile.
I guess she’s not worried about me anymore.
“This is where you threw my flowers out,” he says standing by the window.
That was last week but now it seems like a long time ago.
I must call the captain to get an update.
My sister says I must go to the funeral, to get closure, but I’m not sure, his family never liked me, they loved the baby-mama.
He looks at his watch. I think he has to be somewhere.
“I have to go. I know you don’t want me to leave but I have to work,” he says with that frown-smile.
I never said I didn’t want him to leave.
He stops and looks at me.
“I’m glad you came,” he says.
“I don’t know where you’ve been all along Naledi, I’ve been looking for you,” he says.
At first I don’t get him, and then I look into his eyes, I get him. I’ve been looking for him too.
My eyes are getting wet.
He pulls me close and hugs me tight.
I think he’s into perfume, he smells of a different one today. I think he loves crispy white shirts too.
“Your car is on its way, they’ll deliver it here,” he says.
That’s better because I’m going to need it to get home.
It’s already Thursday and I have to decide whether I’m going to Mafikeng this weekend. The problem is that he said he was going to see me at the weekend, which means he already has plans that I don’t know about.
I walk him out before the whole building hears that he’s here and comes out to watch.
“I’m going to miss you,” I say, my head on his chest. I don’t want him to go.
“You could quit this place and move in with me,” he says.
Go away fool!
I already feel like crying when the car drives out of the gate. The past two days have been amazing. Now I love him even more than I did when I lost my mind and drove to Alberton in leggings and unbrushed teeth.
But I can’t get the picture of that woman out of my mind. He still loves her, I know he does. What scares me the most is not knowing whether he’ll ever be able to love me more than he loved her. It worries me. Imagine being second best to a ghost.
I comfort myself with the fact that we look totally different, so I wasn’t her replacement I think.
I don’t know where Tsietsi is today. He’s not even answering my calls. He still doesn’t know I went to Joburg, nobody knows, not even my sisters.
I have been away for two days and need to catch up on the work. I’ll try by all means to avoid crossing paths with the CEO and have him feel sorry for me.
Qhawe sent an SMS two hours after he left saying he had arrived in Joburg. He said he had meetings all day but he’s been SMSng me all day.
I told the car people to leave the car keys at reception. I’ve been too busy I didn’t even go out for lunch. Now almost everyone is gone home and I’m still in the office because I really need to finish this paperwork.
“Why are you still in that place?”-an SMS from him.
How does he know I’m still here?
“I have to finish work,”- I respond.
“Finish it tomorrow. Please. It’s going to get dark outside,” he says.
Sometimes I stay here until 9pm, but let me listen to him because he might just drive here to drag me out of the “looney house”.
“Go home,” he says.
“Are you home?”
He takes a deep breath.
“Yes, it doesn’t feel like home without you here,” he says.
Now I miss him even more.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m sitting in your car,” he says.
“Because I miss you, so I came to the garage to sit in your car…….” he says.
“But my car is here……”
I stand up and look out the window. There are only two cars left in the doctors’ parking lot. It’s the CEO’s and another one.
“You have to stop shouting my name if you can’t even pronounce it,” he says calmly like he didn’t just push me to my highest limit!
“Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” I say with my teeth clenched
“I wasn’t going to let you drive around in some little car with no airbags,” he says.
Oh My God! Whyyyyyyy???
“Go home,” he says and hangs up.
Where do I put the key? I don’t know, I’ve never driven a Maserati before.
It’s a nice car but I don’t have the energy to appreciate it, not after what he just did.
It’s going to get dark really soon. You know my problem. If it means I’m going to rush home to switch the lights on and then drive out again to get take-aways, so be it.
I’m never walking into a dark house again.
It’s just going to be me and the TV tonight. Oh and Qhawe’s stalking through phone calls and messages and everything he has access to.
It’s always quiet in this complex, that’s partly why I chose it. The units are few and the general population is stuck-up, which means less drama and borrowing of sugar.
Oh, my neighbour is moving out? I know he’s renting but I had no idea……
No, they’re coming out of my house. What the heck?
“Excuse me, can I help you? What’s going on here? This is my house……”
Am I being robbed? I’m being robbed! Where’s my phone?
“Mam, we struggled getting the bed out of the second bedroom, that’s why we took this long. But everything is in order, half the furniture has already been unpacked at the house…….”
I’m being robbed in broad daylight!
“I’m calling the police!!” I scream.
They all look confused. He looks at the paper-board in his hand.
“Did we break something? I don’t think so, Mr Zulu said…..”
“Did you just say Mr Zulu??”
I’m losing my mind…….I can’t breathe…….I can’t stand……I need to sit….
These people are still packing my things into a truck like I’m not even here.
“My love,” he answers.
I’m trying to catch my breath so I can be able to speak!
“Naledi…” he says.
“Chawe, what is going on? I’m at my house, what did you do?” I ask. My voice is low because I’m trying to keep myself together.
Lord help me!
“Your house?” he asks.
I take a deep breath.
“Oh! You don’t live there anymore…..” he says.
Count to five Naledi………count to five and breathe………
“Chawe, what do you mean I don’t live here anymore?” I ask in almost a whisper.
“Are you okay? You don’t sound………..”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I scream, I can’t deal with this!
“What? Leave my things! Get out of here!” I scream. Why are they still packing?
He’s still speaking.
He keeps quiet.
Why does he live to make me angry??
“Are you okay….?”
I hang up.
The truck people are standing outside my house looking stunned.
And where did they get the keys? How do you just walk into someone’s house and pack their stuff up, on instruction from someone in Joburg?
My house is empty, as in there is nothing except the kitchen cupboards, everything from the spoons to the dishcloth is gone.
The lounge looks like an empty hall. It’s like nobody ever lived here.
I’m dragging myself up the stairs with little hope that maybe there is a bed upstairs where I can throw myself and fall asleep now and wake up after two years.
My bedroom is empty. The wardrobes are empty. Everything is gone.
He’s calling, I’m ignoring him. I don’t know what’s going on and I know whatever explanation he’s going to give me will make me want to slit my wrists.
I’ve fallen in love with a mental case, that’s what’s happening here, I’m madly in love with a crazy person!
What does this man want now?
“Mr Zulu wants to talk to you,” he says handing me his phone.
I told these people to leave! Why are they still here?
“I don’t want to speak to him,”
He stands still.
Didn’t he hear me?
Why is he not telling him that I said no?
The look on his face says he’s begging.
I take the phone.
“Baby?” he says.
Please Lord help me here!
“Chawe……what’s going on?”
He doesn’t speak.
“I’m sitting on the floor in an empty house. There are men I don’t know all over my house going through my things without my permission. What’s going on?”
“I don’t want you living in a house where anyone can just walk in and hurt you,” he says.
He doesn’t get it does he?
“So you decide I’m moving? And you send people to my house without me knowing Chawe? Where did you get my house keys?”
He doesn’t respond.
“So this is what you do? Dictate my life? I’m not your property Chawe. This is my house, I bought it, it’s my home and I’m not moving out because you say so,”
“I have reasons,” he says.
I don’t care.
“Where are my things? Where did they take them?”
“To Modder River, to a house there,” he says.
“You have a house there?”
“Yes, we have a house there now,” he says.
That’s where most government ministers and Kimberley’s elite live.
It’s not happening.
I’m surprised I haven’t lost it and raised my voice, that’s probably because he’s calm too, a little nervous too sensing from his tone.
“Chawe, I’m not leaving my house. I’m not moving to Modder River. Tell those people to bring back my stuff,” I say.
“But baby you don’t understand….”
“I’m not going Chawe, I’m not moving out of my house. I don’t care what your reasons are. Tell these people to bring back my stuff….”
How could he even think I’d say yes to this?
Even if he had asked me first I would have said no.
“Naledi you don’t understand…..”
“Tell them to bring my stuff back. I’ll sleep at Tsietsi’s tonight, I want……”
“You’ll sleep where?”
Why is he raising his voice now?
“I said I’ll sleep at Tsietsi’s”
“No I’ll book you a hotel” he says.
“Don’t you have other friends? Female friends?” he asks.
I see he’s back to being himself. Just now he sounded apologetic but it’s all gone now…
“I don’t want you to book me a hotel Chawe, I want my house back!!!!”
He’s making me angry again!
“You’re not going to sleep at that fool’s house Naledi….”
That fool has been my best friend for six years!!!
“Because I don’t want you to!” he shouts.
“You know what Chawe! Don’t call me! Don’t ever call me again!” I scream and hang up.
This is it! I love him but I’m not going to let him treat me like this! I am not his property!
I might as well get out now while I still can! Tsietsi was right about his controlling arse!
I hand the truck guy his phone back, take my handbag and leave the house.
No in fact I’m going to leave his car here too. They must bring back my furniture and take his car.
Qhawe is so emotionally testing. Just now I was happy and in love and now I’m angry and crying.
He’s still calling and I’m ignoring him. I can’t talk to him. If I hear his voice I’ll scream at him!
“Tsietsi please open,”
“The gate Tsietsi, I’m outside,”
I see him peeping through the window.
I get out of the cab and walk inside the gate.
“Why are you using a cab? Where’s your car?” he asks the moment I walk in.
Where do I start explaining?
“Your phone is ringing,” he says.
“I know, I don’t want to talk to him,” I say.
He looks confused.
“Chawe,” I say.
“What? Is he still calling you?” he asks.
I’m in no mood to talk about this. Not now.
“Can you just explain to me what’s going on. Where were you all week? I know you didn’t go to the North West,” he says.
I just want to lock myself in the bedroom and sleep. That’s all I want.
But he won’t let it go.
“On Tuesday I drove to Joburg,”
He raises his eyebrows.
“I know, but I love him Tsietsi. I really love him and he makes me happy…..”
“Happy? You’re here looking like hell, I can see you’ve been crying so please explain the happy part to me,” he says.
He’s about to judge and give me a lecture and tell me what I don’t want to hear. That’s the last thing I need right now.
“I stayed there for two days. He didn’t know I was coming, I called him when I was in Joburg and he came to pick me up and I stayed at his house. We flew back last night…..”
“Flew back?” he asks.
“Yes, he has a private jet,” I say.
I don’t want to dwell on that because I know what he’s going to say.
“And your car? What happened to it?”
“It’s at his house. He sent a car here for me to use, but I left it at my house now,”
“His explanation was, he doesn’t want me driving around in a small car with no air-bags, so he sent his Maserati for me to use,”
Now that I’m telling this to someone, it sounds really strange.
And my car does have air-bags.
He folds his arms across his chest. I know this, he’s about to give me a lecture about men and how bad they are.
“Naledi I told you about this guy,” he says.
I knew it.
“I think he loves me Tsietsi, I think he does. We have this amazing connection……”
“Sit down…” he says.
Here we go.
“Naledi, guys like him are bad news. They control everything around them. They can buy anything they want anytime so they think they own the world and everything in it. They go for girls like you……..”
Girls like me?
“What do you mean girls like me?” I ask.
“No don’t get offended. You know he can have any girl he wants, any girl and yet he’s chasing after you, or you’re chasing after him I don’t know anymore……”
“He knows you don’t believe in yourself, you have self-esteem issues…”
No I don’t!
“So he’ll give you attention, too much attention you’ll think you are everything and more to him. You will do anything he wants you to do because at the back of your mind you’ll always believe that he’s doing you a favour by being with you. And so he will control you, play you and destroy you along the way…….”
This guy is supposed to be trying to make me feel better, not this, he’s supposed to be my best friend.
“Tsietsi I’m not stupid, you know that….”
He raises his hand.
“Yes I know, which is why I don’t understand why you’re behaving like this. I’m a man, I know how we operate. We find our power in the women we are with. Your ex found his power in abusing you and knowing that you were scared of him, it made him feel like a man, like he owned you,” he says.
Did he have to bring him into this?
“No, stop crying. You’ve just got out of a similar situation and you’re going back there now. I mean, Naledi, you ex died three days ago, hours after he tried to rape you and right now it looks like you’ve forgotten all about that. Shouldn’t you be trying to deal with that and at least trying to find out from the police what happened and preparing to go to the funeral?” he asks.
I wasn’t even thinking about that.
“So why did you leave your house? Is he there?”
“No Tsietsi, he’s not there. Nothing is there. When I came back from work I found people, movers, packing my stuff in a truck. They said it was an instruction from him,”
He looks confused.
“When I spoke to him he said he was moving me to a house in Modder River because my house is not safe…”
“Yes, everything is gone. It’s totally empty,”
I’m not even angry anymore. I just want my life and sanity back.
“I just want to go sleep Tsietsi, I’ve had a tough few days,” I say.
He’s still judging me. I hate it when he does this. It’s only 7pm and I just want to disappear.
My phone is still ringing non-stop.
“You’re not coming in here! Who the fuck do you think you are?”
It’s Tsietsi shouting!
He’s here. I knew it. I knew he was going to drive here. I was just hanging on to false hope that maybe he’d wait until the morning.
“I said go”-Tsietsi
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Go back to bed Naledi!”-Tsietsi
He’s standing outside. The door is open but the burglar guard is locked.
“Naledi we have to talk,” he shouts from outside.
I walk to stand at the door.
“Why are you here Chawe?”
“You said I shouldn’t call you, you didn’t say I mustn’t come to you,” he says.
Oh Lord! What am I going to do with this guy?
I’m wearing Tsietsi’s pyjama pants and t-shirt. He looks at me and notices that. It seems to make him angry.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” -Tsietsi.
My life is tough.
“Tsietsi open the door,” I say.
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind.
“Open the door, trust me he’s not going to leave,” I say.
He’s angry, Tsietsi is angry.
“Didn’t you hear anything I said to you Naledi? You’re letting this guy play you, again?”-Tsietsi
“You don’t know shit about me man, you don’t know shit about me,”-Qhawe.
This could take the whole night if I don’t stop it now.
He unlocks the burglar-gate after I beg until he gives up.
He wraps his arms around me the moment I reach him. I don’t return the hug.
“Let’s go talk in the car,” I say.
He follows me to the driveway, there’s no car there.
“It’s outside the gate,” he says.
“I jumped over the fence,” he says.
Now I have to go back and ask Tsietsi to open the gate because I’m not jumping over the fence.
He looks at me once and presses the remote before slamming the door in my face.
I’m an adult, he must understand that.
“Aren’t you cold?” he asks opening the passenger door.
I’m cold but I don’t care.
He keeps rubbing his hands together.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Why are you here Chawe? What do you want?”
He doesn’t answer but looks at me.
Something hits the car bonnet.
It’s my handbag. I had left my handbag and phone inside the house. I see Tsietsi walking back to the house.
That’s just rude of him, throwing my stuff over the fence now?
“What’s this guy’s problem?” he asks.
What’s your problem?
“Can we go to the house and talk please?” he says
“Which house, because my house is empty!” I snap.
He takes a deep breath and starts the car.
“Where are we going Chawe?”
“We’re going to talk,” he says.
I don’t think there’s anything he’s going to say that’s going to take away the doubts I have about him now. The doubt I have about this relationship that officially started two days ago.
Isn’t it a bit too early for us to start having problems like this?
We’re driving to Modder River, after everything I said to him, he’s still taking me to that house.
“Are we seriously going there Chawe?”
“There’s furniture there, your house is empty there’s nothing to sit on,” he says.
He seems to be as depressed as I am. We haven’t laughed or joked like we normally do when we’re together.
This house. How does he expect me to live in this house alone?
The lights are on.
He leads me to a giant double-door.
My furniture is all over this house, but it looks out of place. The couches are too small for the giant lounge. The walls are too high and the stairs are too wide.
I stand still and look around me.
Even my fridge and kitchen appliances are placed and plugged in the kitchen.
How could he do this? Just like that? Didn’t he see anything wrong with it?
“Let’s go upstairs,” he says, already pulling me by my hand.
I do as he says.
The main bedroom. My bed looks too small. It’s neatly made and even my side-lamps are on. My towels, my toothbrushes and toothpaste and shower-gels, it’s all there in the en-suite bathroom.
“Chawe what are you doing? What is all this? I told you I’m not about your money. I thought you understood that,”
He looks at me.
“I know that,” he says.
“Yet you still go and buy me a house?” I ask.
He looks down at his feet.
“I know I did this the wrong way. Sometimes I get like that, I’m like that. I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m sorry baby,” he says.
Yes I get that but he still hasn’t explained anything about this.
“Why?” I ask.
He sits. I sit next to him.
“Can you take that off and put on your own clothes,” he says.
I roll my eyes and walk to the wardrobe. My clothes are neatly hanged and folded. I want to ask who did all this but that’s not the point.
I changed to my own pyjamas with him watching me.
I hear him clear his throat a couple of times.
I go back to sit on the bed. He walks out and comes back with a chair, puts it in front of me and sits, facing me.
He has his elbows on his thighs and his hands on his cheeks.
“First of all Naledi, I’m not trying to control you…..okay maybe a little but it’s not meant to hurt you or make you angry like you are now,”
“What are you trying to do Chawe? Prove a point?” I snap.
He looks at me. There’s something really serious about him tonight.
“Do you do this with all the women you meet? Give them luxury cars and move them to mansions?” I ask.
He looks offended.
“No Naledi. I don’t buy all the women I meet flowers. I don’t randomly fly to another province just to have lunch with them so I can get their attention. I don’t leave my family’s private jet at a Kimberley airport just so I can get a lift with them and get to spend time with them. I don’t drive through the night across provinces to their houses after they leave me hanging, I don’t let them inside my house and into my bedroom. I don’t hold them in my arms and watch them sleep all night while asking myself how the fuck they took full ownership of my heart so quickly. And no, when I make love to them it doesn’t feel like our souls are one. I don’t fly them home on a jet that’s used only by my family and no, I don’t give them my Maserati. I definitely don’t jump fences and bang some idiot’s door at 1am because I’ve lost my mind because they’re not talking to me……”
I didn’t realise we’d come that far. He sounds so sincere.
I put my hands on his.
“What is this all about then? Talk to me,” I say.
“Do you love me?” he asks.
I do and it’s driving me crazy.
“I love you,” I say.
“Okay, because my life is complicated, and yours is about to be complicated too,” he says.
I don’t like this.
“Are you prepared to be in it, complicated as it is?” he asks.
I nod. I’m not sure why I’m committing myself when I don’t even know what he’s talking about, but I know I want to be with him. I’m looking in his eyes and I know there’s nothing I want more than I want him.
“Good, because I’m never letting you go,” he says.
What does that mean?
“I know you didn’t know who I was when we met, so you’re probably not aware of my history and where I come from. We have money, too much of it, but it didn’t come easy, enemies were made along the way. They’ve never forgiven and they never will,” he says.
That sounds a bit scary…..
“So, now and again we have to deal with things. Oleta, she died because……”
“Yes, her name was Oleta. She was shot in the head, at home in Greytown, while taking a shower. My 12-year-old son too, my eldest brother’s son, they both died on the spot…”
Oh my God!!
“I was there, we were all there but I couldn’t get to her soon enough. I couldn’t protect her and she died and her family still blames me. I still blame myself,” he says.
I hold his hands tighter.
“So when you told me some man walked in your house and hit you, and tried to….I was freaked out and angry. I had said I was going to help you, but I spent time writing and deleting messages to you and wanting to call you but stopping myself….if I had called you earlier none of that would have happened, I would have been there with you….” he says.
This is too sad.
“Now I might come on a bit too strong sometimes but, it’s because I never thought I’d find a woman who drives me crazy again. And now that I’ve found her I’ve literally gone crazy and I’m doing crazy things,” he says.
“Is that a smile?” he asks with that frown-smile of his.
“Since you want to be with me all the time, and you are a self-confessed mental case, how about I admit you at my hospital, just so we can be together all the time?”
He laughs. That’s what I wanted. I’ve missed his laugh.
“You still miss her don’t you?” I ask.
We’re back to being serious.
He takes a deep breath.
“I do, I wish I had had time to say goodbye, or get a moment with her, just one moment so I can apologise for everything,” he says
I know now that he will never stop loving her.
“What happened Chawe? Who shot her?”
He looks me in the eye.
“An old enemy. A man whose family my father wiped out a long time ago,” he says.
What? Really? People can hold a grudge for that long?
“You still have more enemies?” I ask.
“Recent one was when my brother almost got killed, by a woman who thinks we did something to her sister,” he says.
By a woman?
“Is that why you want me to live in this house? So no-one can hurt me to get to you?” I ask.
It doesn’t even make sense.
“I just want you to be in a safe place, even if it’s not about me and my business I just don’t want you to be at a house where someone can just walk in, or drive a car with squeaky breaks or be surrounded by crazy dangerous people all day,” he says.
I knew he was going to go there.
“But baby I don’t want to leave my house. How am I going to live in a mansion with six bedrooms and four garages? Alone,”
“I’ll be here almost all the time, at least four times a week? And you’ll be in Joburg every weekend,” he says.
Does it matter that we’ve been officially dating for only three days?
“I can’t Chawe, all of this is happening too soon. But I like the house, how long have you had it?”
“I bought it yesterday,” he says.
“It was for sale and empty so I called my banker. I came past here yesterday morning before I left,” he says.
How is that even possible?
“Do you do this with all the women in the family? The high security thing?” I ask.
“We know where they are and what they’re doing all the time. Windows of our homes are bullet-proof, doors, cars and everything. Security is important in our family, we can’t afford to lose anyone, everybody is important and protected,” he says.
I don’t want that much complication in my life though.
“Am I there already? Am I part of that now?” I ask.
“You’re part of me now and I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says.
“But Chawe, I want to live in my house, not here,”
“Okay, I could pay the house off now and you can move here when you’re ready”
“Okay okay…..you’re a hard-head anyway so I won’t even waste my time. I’ll tell them to take your stuff back today,” he says.
Oh crap it’s 4am already. I have to be at work in four hours!
“Are we going to sleep at all?” I ask.
He smiles and stands up.
“Not before I shag you,” he says.
What ever happened to asking nicely?
He has a thing for my thighs, he just always goes for them first.
“You smell nice,” he says pulling my pyjama top off.
I didn’t even shower last night.
He smells nice too. He always does.
He pulls my legs once and I’m lying on the bed on my back. He gets on top of me, still dressed. His one arm is under my neck and the other is slowly going under my pyjama pants.
“What are you looking for down there?” I whisper.
“What’s mine,” he says.
“Freshly shaved? When?”
“This morning,” I whisper.
“You should have let me do it,” he says.
I giggle. I can’t stop.
“I want to taste it,” he says.
“Noooo,” I say pressing my thighs together.
He’s standing now.
“Why not?” he says kissing my stomach and all the way down……..oh crap! He opens my legs and pulls down my pyjama.
I should have switched the lights off!
I don’t want him to see…..
“Does it feel good?” he asks.
I can’t see his face, just the top of his head moving between my thighs.
He’s back in my face.
“It tastes good,” he says.
My eyes are wide, I’ve never……
He’s kissing my breasts and….
I pull his t-shirt off.
I figure he wants me to undress him so I push him off and stand in-front of him.
The belt is a little hard to unbuckle but he’s not helping me. The sound of the zip opening and the jeans dropping to his ankles.
His skin is so soft. We’ve done this about five times since Wednesday by I never took time to appreciate his fineness.
I feel like experimenting.
He wraps his arms around my waist but I pull away and get in my knees.
I’ve never done this to anyone before.
I feel his hand on my head. He wants me to do this.
I don’t know what I’m doing but I think I’m doing it right because he’s moaning and groaning. His hand is pressing harder on my heard. My hands are on his thighs. I keep doing what I’m doing, he seems to be enjoying it….he’s calling my name.
I stop when the grip on my weave gets too tight and look up at him. His eyes are smaller. He looks at me once and pulls me up by my hair.
Crap! I’m on the bed again, he’s on top of me, my thighs tremble as he pushes himself in….
“So are we staying here or are we going to Joburg,” he asks.
“You’re asking for my opinion? That’s a first,”
This is something we should have discussed in the morning but he seems to be the type that lives on the edge this one.
“I don’t really have a house right now,” I say.
Those people are still taking my stuff back in and there are women there packing my clothes and kitchen contents.
I’ve been at work all day and he’s been somewhere in Kimberley doing whatever he was doing all day while finding time to call me every five minutes.
“Who said anything about your house?” he asks.
Oh Lord! What now?
“We’re going to your house to pack and we’re moving into our home for this weekend,” he says.
Joburg was never an option was it?
“And where is that?” I ask.
“The road. We’re sleeping in Kathu tonight and in the morning we’ll go see the Kalahari Meerkat Project, I hear it’s fascinating. You know, one of the twins wanted to name Shlangu “Timon”, I heard later that Timon is a meerkat from some cartoon show,” he says laughing.
His light moments are always weird.
And what’s a meerkat?
“What’s a meerkat?”
“You don’t know what a meerkat is? It’s that little animal that looks like cat crossed with rabbit…”
I have no idea what that looks like.
“So you love animals?” I ask.
“Yes I love nature. And you?” he asks.
I’m not exactly an outdoor person.
“Not much, I’ve never really paid attention,”
“I’m gonna make you love it,” he says.
“Not more than you love me though,” he says.
“And when did you plan all this?”
“Dr Montsho, I have millions to my name, I don’t plan things, I make one phone call,” he says.
I smile and shake my head.
This is the first time I’ve heard him talk like this. Sometimes I think he doesn’t even care that he has money.
I think I’m going to enjoy this, just because I have to put up with his madness and controlling self all weekend.
“We’ll do Namaqualand Flower Route too and Orange River Wine Route and Boesmansgat Sinkhole and……..
“All that in one weekend?”
“Yes, I’ll drive, I don’t want you to murder me with your tuck-shop driver’s license,” he says.
“I want to spend the whole weekend with you because I’ll be home in Mbuba next weekend,” he says.
I forgot, all black people have two homes, home as in your house and home as in home.
“Nkosana is going to pay lobola for Zandile,” he says.
“I thought they were already married,”
He bites his upper lip.
“They are, but it’s complicated, culture can screw you over sometimes.” he says.
I know hey.
“Yeah, I know, I come from a royal family. I’m getting myself prepared to put up a fight for that day when I’m told I’ve been picked for marriage by some royal man……” I say.
The look in his eyes!!